My Weight Loss Journey (Part one…)

Have you ever battled with weight loss? If so, you can totally relate to this post. Unfortunately, even if you haven’t, you’ve been bombarded just like the rest of us, with the magazine covers, commercials, ads and social media images of beautiful, perfect bodies. Those images have the tendency to make us feel less than. The world around us likes to dictate to us what is considered beautiful, and for the most part, it’s nothing natural and hardly attainable.

I never had an issue with my weight until after I had kids. I was skinny in grade school and even though I still remember being teased for being so thin, thankfully, it never bothered me enough to manifest into any eating disorder. When I got married I was a size 0 and I weighed 115 pounds. With my first pregnancy, my weight climbed to 170 lbs. My daughter was 9 lbs. 13 ounces when she was born. I’m not sure about my weight with my last two pregnancies, but I know I didn’t gain anywhere near the amount with my first. But even after a few years, I still weighed in around the 170 mark, wearing a size 12.

By no means am I trying to say that there is a certain size that is beautiful. There is no perfect size. Beauty comes in many shapes, sizes, colors and personalities. This post is only about my weight loss story, I can only speak for myself.

I’m not sure how much my weight has been affected by my thyroid, (I have hypothyroidism). I know it has, but to what degree, I don’t think it’s possible to know. Trying to lose weight is hard enough, but even harder when you have a thyroid problem that slows down your metabolism and is known for causing weight gain. Being forty-two doesn’t help much either. Not to mention my love for sweets!

I’ve never been obsessed with food. Growing up and even now, I find I tend to be a bit picky. But my love for sweets has always been around! In fact, I remember when I was little, my grandfather would take me to our local bakery where I would get my favorite; a chocolate doughnut. I can still remember walking inside and how good it smelled. The wonderful scent of freshly made doughnuts. Even thinking about it now makes my mouth water. If you’ve ever seen Homer Simpsons love for doughnuts, you’ve gotten a glimpse of mine.

It wasn’t until 2013 that my weight really started to affect me. Shopping hadn’t been fun for a while, in fact, I hated shopping for clothes. Anything that I liked, didn’t fit and what did fit, I didn’t like the way it looked. I felt so disappointed when I would see cute clothes, but not in my size.

Not only was it affecting my wardrobe, it was affecting my marriage. I battled inside my own head with thoughts that my husband deserved to have someone prettier, who was in shape. I constantly compared myself to others. It was a big battle that my husband and I fought through. It was in October of that year, that I decided I needed to do something about it.

I wasn’t working at the time, so I was home during the days and decided to focus on getting healthy and losing weight. I did a lot of research on which exercises were the best for weight loss. I read up on cardio, weightlifting and of course diets. We already had exercise equipment at home, so there was no need going to the gym, not that I would have gone anyway, I was too insecure. I had everything mapped out and had a plan.

Eating clean was a must, which meant a minimum- to- no processed food. At first I tried a low-carb diet but usually would end up getting weak and wouldn’t have enough strength for my workouts. I ate five times a day and made sure I was in a caloric deficit. On the weekends I allowed myself to eat whatever I felt like; although, after you’re used to eating healthy, fast food and junk food end up making you feel sick. I exercised 5 to 6 days a week doing H.I.I.T. (high intensity interval training) for my cardio and I also lifted weights. . . In six months I was down to a size 6.

Soon after I started losing weight, my husband jumped on board, which made the whole process a lot easier. We enjoyed working out together and he soon started seeing results in himself as well. It was working great for us. That is until I had to have a hysterectomy. After I had surgery I had a slower time of recovery due to my disease, which in turn led to not being able to exercise for quite some time. To read about my autoimmune disease click here https://wonderfullymessy.com/2018/01/25/living-with-autoimmune-disease/

I did not feel well for a good chunk of time which led to quick and easy meals that usually were not healthy. Slowly I gained most of the weight back. There were times that my disease would flare up so much that even when I tried exercising I would hurt so bad and finally gave up trying all together. I could deal with the pain from a good workout, in fact, that was a good feeling. But this pain was not.

And that leads us here. I am still dealing with pain but am determined to fight through it. But this time I’m going about it a little differently. I don’t have all day to focus on workouts and meal prepping since I’m back at work part-time and blogging as well. It will take longer to see results this time round, but I’m okay with that.

It’s not about trying to be good enough…

I have a different mindset this time. It’s not about trying to get into shape to be “good enough”. No, this time it’s “I’m enough” and I want to be healthy. How about you? Do you have a weight loss story or are you in the process of getting healthy? No matter where you are in your journey, don’t let the world or anyone make you feel like you’re less than. And most importantly, don’t let yourself tell you that you’re not enough. You are more than enough, you are beautiful and you are precious in the eyes of God.

Comment below your story. Let’s encourage each other through this journey!