Dear Dad,
A letter to my dad on this first Father’s Day without him.
First off, I miss you, Dad. I miss you more than I ever thought possible. It still stings when I go visit mom and you’re not there. Your absence is so obvious. I’m always let down as I walk in the front door, anticipating to see you sitting on the couch and you’re not there. Although it still hurts, God has brought so much peace and healing to my grief in such indescribable, beautiful ways. I know the pain will never totally go away, but there is a peace that comes with that truth. Somehow, in the midst of it all, God makes his presence known even more loudly and his grace that washes over me overwhelms me, filling me with a joy that can only come from Him. It’s a beautiful thing when grief and joy can sit alongside each other.
I find myself longing to talk with you and hear your voice. I sometimes sit in the quiet and remember our conversations, replay old videos, and read through our old texts. Maybe I’m selfish, but not only do I miss you cause I loved you so much, but because you loved me so much. What I’d give to have one more visit with you. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. But I hold all the memories in my heart now, and look forward to the day when we will meet again.
The day you left us, as I held your hand and watched as you took that one last big breath, I knew that must have been the moment you saw Jesus face to face. At the time, I could only focus on the fact that it meant you were gone. But as this season has slowly changed, I imagine the immense joy you must have felt standing in His presence. Your eyesight completely restored, and your body completely healed. What a beautiful gift!
I’ll miss you this Father’s Day, Dad. I fought back tears as I found myself in the aisle of the Father’s Day cards at the store. No card or gift to give you, no pie to share with you, just memories and the promise of seeing you to hold on to. But oh, what a wonderful day it must be, sharing Father’s Day with Jesus. That’s better than any silly gift I could ever give you.
I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day! I miss you and I’ll see you soon. ♥️
