June is PTSD Awareness Month. In recognition of those battling a real and often invisible battle.
Nobody tells you what a panic attack actually feels like from the inside.
They tell you the clinical version — racing heart, shortness of breath, a sense of impending doom. What they don’t tell you is that it feels like dying. Like your body has decided, without your permission, that this is the end. And no amount of logic, prayer, or deep breathing seems to reach it in time.
I know, because I’ve been there. For a long time I didn’t have words for what I was experiencing. The panic attacks came first — uninvited and terrifying. It wasn’t until after losing my father that I was assessed and finally given a diagnosis: PTSD.
What Is PTSD?
PTSD — Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder — is a mental health condition that develops in some people after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying, life-threatening, or traumatic event.
What many people don’t realize is that triggers can be anything that reminds the body of the original trauma. A sound. A smell. A date on the calendar. A tone of voice. They don’t have to make logical sense. That’s what makes PTSD so disorienting — your body responds to something in the present as though the danger is still happening. Because to your nervous system, it is.
What I eventually learned was that my nervous system had gotten stuck in fight or flight. It had been running on high alert for so long that it no longer knew how to feel safe. Dysregulation became my baseline. The body truly does remember and hold on to trauma, even without us knowing or thinking about it — it’s called implicit memory. It took consistent, intentional therapy to help my body learn — slowly — that the danger had passed.
What My Therapist Told Me
In one of my counseling sessions, my therapist gave me advice I’ll never forget. She said, “When a panic attack comes, don’t fight it. Ride the wave.”
At first, that sounded impossible. Everything in me wanted to resist, to push back, to make it stop. But she explained that panic rises and falls like the ocean—fight it, and you’ll exhaust yourself; breathe through it, and it will crest, then pass.
That picture stuck with me. Panic wasn’t the end of me — it was something I could ride out. It didn’t mean I was failing. It didn’t mean I was weak. It meant my body was caught in a storm, and my job was simply to hold on until the waters settled.
The Wave Is in Scripture Too
Maybe that’s why Scripture so often uses waves as imagery. “I hear the tumult of the raging seas as your waves and surging tides sweep over me,” wrote the psalmist (Psalm 42:7). Waves feel overwhelming, but they’re part of life’s rhythm—they rise, crash, and recede.
And Scripture doesn’t just acknowledge the wave — it shows us a God who gets in the boat. When the disciples were caught in a violent storm on the sea, Jesus didn’t shame them for their fear. He remained with them in the middle of it. And when peace came over the water, it wasn’t because they had managed their fear perfectly — it was because “even the wind and waves obey Him.” Mark 4:41
That’s the truth I kept coming back to in my hardest moments. God wasn’t waiting on the other side of the panic attack for me to arrive composed and collected. He was in the storm with me.
What Riding the Wave Actually Looks Like
For anyone walking through panic attacks or PTSD, here’s what “riding the wave” looked like in practice for me:
Feel it without feeding it. Don’t narrate the panic with more panic. “This is a wave. It will pass.” Say it out loud if you have to.
Breathe slowly and deliberately. The whole practice of inhaling and holding my breath only made me feel more panicked. But taking slow, deep belly breaths in, and longer breaths out, helped. Your nervous system responds to your breath even when it won’t respond to your words.
Let God be in it with you. You don’t have to pray eloquently. Even “I need You” is enough. He hears the groaning (Romans 8:26).
I’ve also created a free resource called Practicing Peace in a Body on Alert — a collection of practices I used daily to help my own nervous system find calm. Things that helped my body feel safe again. Coming soon.
Healing Isn’t the Absence of Waves
Learning to ride the wave of panic gave me more than just a coping skill. It gave me a new way to think about suffering itself. Healing wasn’t about never facing another wave — it was about learning to trust God in the middle of it.
PTSD is real. The waves are real. And if you’re in the middle of one right now, I want you to know — healing is possible. It takes time. You are not broken, you’ve been through something hard. You are not failing God.
You are riding a wave. And God is with you as you ride it out.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3
If you or someone you love is struggling with PTSD or panic, please don’t walk it alone. Seek support from a licensed counselor or therapist who specializes in trauma. Help is available, and healing is possible.
Anonymous says
This is such great information! Thank you for all your research and sharing this!